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I, You Know, I, I Was Always Pretending, I Owned It
"I always felt like a pretender. I was always pretending," he says. "The magic, the idea of creating an illusion is something that i can now, all these years later, look back and say ... it really was the grand manger chere"
Today I share one man’s journey into the depths of opioid addiction despair -- what happened, what it was like, and how he ultimately found a way out.
His name is Dan Peres -- and it’s quite the story.
Hardly a born media insider, Dan was an awkward, magic-obsessed adolescent. But his gift for the written word and shrewd eye for culture catapulted him to premature heights in the fast-paced world of glossy magazine publishing. At 24, he was covering catwalks in Paris as the European editor for W magazine. A few short years later he landed the coveted editor gig at Details magazine, the arbiter of all things cool and zeitgeist -- a post he held for 15 years.
Along the way Dan nurtured a secret, seeking refuge in opioids to a salve profound imposter syndrome as he navigated the high-voltage netherworld of fashion designers, celebrities and media moguls.
Like so many, it’s a relationship that began with a back injury and a prescription. A love affair that escalated to 60 pills a day, betrayal soon followed. A best friend that turned dark. And an addiction that took him places he never thought he would go, produced more instances of incomprehensible demoralization than he cares to remember, and eroded the moral fabric of his life.
By a power greater than himself, Dan found a way out. Now 12 years sober, he recollects the vivid details of his experience in As Needed For A Pain -- a harrowing and at times humorous coming-of-age tale that offers a rare glimpse into New York media’s past (a time when print magazines mattered), dissects a life teetering on the edge of destruction, and chronicles what it took to pull back from the brink of an addiction that very nearly killed him.
Today Dan shares his powerful tale from depravity to salvation.
Even if the opioid epidemic hasn’t affected you directly, chances are someone in your life suffers. May this conversation open your eyes. Help you better understand the cunning, baffling and powerful nature of this disease. And provide hope to those that currently suffer -- because there is a solution.
The visually inclined can watch it all go down on YouTube. And as always, the audio version streams wild and free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
If you need help, seek out an A.A. meeting in your area here. Or call the Substance Abuse And Mental Health Services national helpline at 1-800-662-HELP.
Thanks to my friends Amy Dresner (RRP #341) and Jeff Gordinier (RRP #453) for introducing me to Dan. And thank you to Dan for being so open and vulnerable. This conversation is a doozie. I'm better for having it. May it impact you similarly.
Peace + Plants,
Rich
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