Introduction

How can we help a friend who’s in crisis because of illness or grief? And how can we ask for help rather than waiting for friends to know exactly what to do?

A few months ago, Alissa reached out on email to discuss a trend she saw on some of the Facebook pages and forums for widows.

She wrote: "One thing I see over and over in these groups is people complaining that friends who said they'd be there for them have disappeared or dropped off or stopped supporting them. Now, maybe I am just lucky, but I honestly don't feel that way. I feel like I have lots of friends who would be there for me -- all I have to do is ask. I certainly don't expect my friends to read my mind or guess what I need from them. And each time I see one of these complaints, I WANT to reply, "Have you asked for help? Do they know what you need? Are you expecting too much?" 

So that started a conversation between the two of us about the nature of friendships when one of the friends is experiencing a crisis. I had not started DEAR NINA yet, but I knew I would, and I knew Alissa could help so many listeners.

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