How to Deal With Guilt When You're Not Living Up to a Perceived Societal Standard

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Sally Kohn: I think the big governing truth is that you don't have to do anything in that existential sense. Some religions and thinking specifically here of the sort of Christian idea of grace, she says. "I envy that kind of outlook because it's where they have the upper hand on the rest of us" The best way to get yourself to do something important is to truly believe that you don’t actually need to do it, said Kohn. “You could do nothing and you would still be like a fully worthwhile human being."

This week I’m really excited to share this conversation with Oliver Burkeman. I was inspired by this chat as Oliver is proposing a fresh and humane look at productivity that goes far beyond time management systems and software trends to reach into the finite nature of time and the intuitive skills that we all possess to handle our daily tasks and schedules in a way that is more forgiving and human.

In his latest book, Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals Oliver unpacks how the approximately four thousand hours that the average person has on earth is often spent thinking about, and even stressing about time management rather than embracing the natural flow of time and work cycles. As a contrast to this dread or even guilt that so many of us have regarding our productivity, Oliver stresses the importance of recognizing our limitations and finitude in terms of time and control.

In our talk Oliver also emphasizes the value of understanding these limitations and how it can be freeing, allowing us to focus on realistic goals instead of feeling overwhelmed. In addition we explore the concept of intentional choice in using our limited resources and how it can lead to greater productivity. Oliver also points out techniques for how to distinguish between pursuing groundbreaking projects and trying to do everything at once, highlighting the latter as a futile struggle that often hinders meaningful work.

Oliver Burkeman is the author of The Antidote: Happiness for People who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking and Help! How to Become Slightly Happier and Get a Bit More Done. He wrote a long-running column for the Guardian, This Column Will Change Your Life, and has a devoted following for his writing on productivity, mortality and the power of limits. To receive his writing as soon as it’s published, subscribe to his twice-monthly email The Imperfectionist.

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