How I Learned to Write Haikus

I went to this fantastic primary school as well, which wouldn't be allowed these days. We never did lessons. We just sort of expressed ourselves through finger painting. The closest I got to doing maths was Jean would send me out to buy her cigarettes and I had to try and go back with the right change. And then like once a term, Henry, the headmaster would suddenly go, Oh shit, let's have a lesson... But really often, he'd teach us how to write haikus. He seemed determined that if we learned nothing else by the age of 11, we would have mastered the Japanese short form of poetry. Like breaking into someone's old shed on their allot