Let Kids Work It Out First

In this second Q&A episode of 2026, I'm joined once again by Joe Bailey for a raw, honest, and deeply practical conversation with men inside our Dad Edge Alliance. We tackle two of the most common—and emotionally charged—challenges dads face: navigating marriage when divorce feels like it's on the table, and learning when to step in (or step back) as parents with our kids.

Joe brings wisdom forged through failure, humility, and redemption as he shares lessons learned from three divorces and what it actually takes to rebuild trust, emotional safety, and leadership in marriage. We also dig into parenting—specifically how often we default to "no," how helicopter parenting robs kids of growth, and how learning to pause can transform our connection with our children. If you're a dad who wants to lead with ownership instead of ego, and presence instead of control, this episode is for you.

Timeline Summary

[0:00] Welcoming listeners to the second Q&A of 2026 with Joe Bailey

[1:37] Live Q&A format with Alliance members on the call

[2:03] Anonymous question: marriage arguments escalating and divorce being discussed

[2:52] Joe shares his experience with three divorces and hard-earned lessons

[3:49] Taking full ownership as the leader of the relationship

[4:18] Winning the argument vs. winning your wife's heart

[5:02] Separating identity from failure in marriage

[5:21] Why agreement gives things power over your life

[5:40] Emotional safety, being seen, and being heard

[6:04] How your inner world creates your outer world

[6:55] Why asking "What are you willing to do?" matters more than "Can we fix this?"

[8:03] Leading with humility, apology, and commitment to growth

[8:26] The importance of being coachable as a man and husband

[9:35] Larry explains why the Dad Edge Alliance exists

[10:37] More context: resentment and imbalance with kids and responsibilities

[11:16] Why we're trained for careers—but not for marriage

[12:15] Marriage compared to training and skill development

[13:29] The mental load and resentment that silently builds in relationships

[14:35] Larry shares his own wake-up moment with his wife

[16:19] How to approach conversations with curiosity instead of defense

[17:19] Expecting resistance and understanding trust rebuilds slowly

[18:46] A real coaching story where separation was reversed after consistency

[21:03] "Waiting for the other shoe to drop" and consistency over time

[22:12] Second question: saying "no" too often to kids

[23:12] Helicopter parenting and letting kids solve problems

[24:27] Letting kids work it out unless safety is at risk

[26:02] Stepping in when conflict becomes dangerous

[28:16] Boys, aggression, and healthy outlets

[29:45] Is saying "no" about safety—or convenience?

[30:51] Searching for the "yes" and using delayed yeses

[31:38] The day kids stop asking—and why it matters

[32:16] How selfishness often drives our "no"

[33:22] Episode wrap-up and directing listeners to the show notes

Five Key Takeaways

1. Marriage leadership starts with ownership, not blame or defensiveness.

2. Your inner world shapes your marriage, and emotional chaos creates relational chaos.

3. Trust is rebuilt through consistency over time, not quick fixes or intensity.

4. Kids grow through problem-solving, and dads don't need to jump in unless safety is at risk.

5. Saying "yes" whenever possible builds connection, while reflexive "no's" often come from selfishness or convenience.

Links & Resources

• Dad Edge Alliance (Apply & Book a Call): https://thedadedge.com/alliance

• Episode Show Notes & Resources: https://thedadedge.com/1426

Closing Remark

If today's episode gave you clarity, hope, or a new way to lead at home, please rate, review, follow, and share the podcast. You don't have to white-knuckle marriage or fatherhood alone—brotherhood, humility, and consistency change everything.