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The Road Less Traveled by Scott Peck
A good model for this is a guy name m scott peck wrote a book called the road less travelled. He says that if parents are meeting their needs in a timely, judicious way, filling their own bucket up, then they will have time to pay attention to their children. And as i'm sure you've already found out, giving judiciously to our children requires the wisdom of solomon. But there's one more the internal belief system that children develop if their parents are not doing a very effective job of meeting their own needs and then giving to the child in time te judicious, consistent ways.