Why We Cling to Harmful Bonds

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In this deeply transformative episode of Beyond Words, Najwa Zebian explores the true meaning of detachment—not as a rejection of love or connection, but as the path to freedom from unsafe, inconsistent, and harmful bonds. You’ll learn why detaching from the wrong people is the greatest act of self-liberation, and how to build strong, safe attachments that honor your authenticity.

Through powerful imagery, heartfelt reflection, and excerpts from her own writing, Najwa guides you back to yourself—reminding you that at the end of your healing journey, your inner child is waiting to be saved and brought home.

Show Notes & Timestamps

0:00 – 0:20
Opening reflection: meeting the younger version of yourself who waits to be saved.

0:33 – 1:19
Introduction to the episode: why detachment is the root of freedom—but not in the way we’ve been told.

1:20 – 3:07
What detachment is not: myths about never needing people, having no expectations, or doing life alone.

3:08 – 5:13
Recognizing unsafe people: when joy is met with competition, when pain is dismissed, when asking for help is shamed.

5:14 – 7:15
Why we hold on to unsafe bonds: early lessons of survival, emotional abandonment, and inconsistency.

7:16 – 9:24
Choosing “better the peace you don’t know yet” over “better the devil you know.”

9:25 – 12:39
How inconsistency keeps you walking on eggshells—and how to stop hoping for different outcomes.

12:40 – 15:29
The two core needs of every adult, according to Dr. Gabor Maté: attachment and authenticity.

15:30 – 18:24
Conditional belonging vs. true connection: when you must abandon yourself to be “loved.”

18:25 – 20:02
The truth about strength: attachment doesn’t make you weak—unsafe attachment does.

20:03 – 23:47
The courage to let go: why detaching feels terrifying, and how freedom comes with reclaiming your choices.

24:08 – 25:27
Words That Found Me: Ali bin Abi Talib on detachment—“Not that you should own nothing, but that nothing should own you.”

25:35 – 26:43
Words That Held Me: An excerpt from The Book of Healing—a powerful apology letter to the self.

26:44 – 29:21
The deepest shift: realizing your own self-abandonment was more painful than anyone else’s betrayal.

29:22 – 30:11
Closing reflections: detachment as the key to liberation and coming home to yourself.

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