The Fear and Anger in the Dating Market

Doctor Orion Taraban is a clinical psychologist and owner of the PsycHacks Youtube channel. @psychacks    

In this episode we discuss the psychology of dating, the behavioral economics of dating and how those two things make men and women have very different incentives and approaches

Thank you for listening!

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TIMESTAMPS

00:00 INTRO

00:14 Why Women Go to Therapy 3 Times More Than Men

03:27 Is Therapy Better Fit for Women?

05:58 Men Find External Solutions to Internal Problems

10:55 Why Modern Men Are Struggling in Dating

13:30 Learning to Deal With Rejection

15:50 The Romantic Ideal: Men Have Been Lied To

20:53 Society’s Definition of Love Is Toxic

23:22 Jesus: How Much Sacrifice Does Love Require?

27:59 Loving Without Expecting Anything in Return

30:23 "Love People Like Cats"

32:29 Wounded People Recreate Their Traumatic Relationships

35:05 The Crossroads: Where Decisions Really Matter

37:14 How to Avoid Being Blinded by Emotions

39:27 Stopping Negative Thought Cycles

44:23 The Core of Mental Disorders: “Self-Focused Attention”

45:34 The Surprising Power of Stepping Away From Alcohol

47:22 The Black Pill: Young Men Giving Up on Life

51:46 The Antidote to Hopelessness

53:10 Being a Young Man Is Tough

54:49 Should You “Grind Out” Your 20s?

57:11 What It Means to Be a Man in 2023

1:01:19 The Changing Definitions of Masculinity and Femininity

1:05:05 Masculinity: “To Have a Spine and to Have a Pair”

1:07:40 Covid and Conformity

1:09:56 Having a Healthy Level of Self-Doubt

1:11:21 When Should You Stand Up Against the Crowd?

1:13:54 Is “Masculinity/Femininity” a Productive Framework?

1:17:30 Why Women Are Frustrated With Modern Dating

1:20:26 “Women Are Still Waiting for the Offer”

1:22:12 Why 99% of Women Will Be Disappointed

1:26:23 Can Evolutionary Psychology Explain Dating?

1:28:15 Forming Relationships: Can Compatibility Beat Status?

1:30:24 Beauty Doesn’t Make a Happy Relationship

1:32:04 “Find Your Ugly Duckling”

1:33:26 The Dark Horse Strategy

1:35:41 Debate: Do Looks/Finances Really Matter That Much?

1:39:16 Personality Disorders = Childhood Coping Mechanisms

1:41:39 Uncovering Internal Wounds Without Becoming a Victim

1:47:33 Can You Take on Too Much Responsibility?

1:48:59 You’re Not Always the Problem

1:51:16 The Pros and Cons of Spirituality

1:54:22 The Point of Religion: “A Felt Connection With the Divine”

1:57:37 People Never Love Each Other Exactly the Same Amount

2:00:05 Check Out PsycHacks on YouTube and oriontarabanpsyd.com