Overcoming Negative Thoughts and Embracing Self-Acceptance

#400! Yippee!

Today, Rhonda has prepared a special celebration for our 400th podcast, and still going strong! She has invited a number of our favorite people and podcast guests to celebrate with us, starting with our beloved friend and frequent Ask David contributor, Matt May, MD, who officially joined us in early 2000.

Matt’s presence on the show had meant a great deal, personally and professionally, because I supervised Matt when he was a Stanford psychiatric resident, and had been missing our weekly chats! Our reunion via the Feeling Good Podcast has been special for that reason, but also because of Matt’s kindly but scholarly answers to the many questions all of you submit. Keep them coming, and send them directly to Rhonda or David. We love reading and answering them!

Next, we were joined by two more extraordinary psychiatrists and human beings, Drs. Heather Clague and Brandon Vance, who song their rendition (with guitar accompaniment) of “Help Dr. Burns!” (Based on Beetles’ Help, I need somebody!”

With their kind permission, here are the brilliant lyrics!

Help! I need a podcast!

Help! Not just any podcast!

Help! Pushing the Magic Button for ....

Help!

When I was younger, 8 years younger than today

I thought I could help everybody; help them in every way.

I got so grandiose; I was so self-assured.

I’d push my brilliant techniques, but my patients were never cured.

So, Help me not to Help oh Dr. Burns

Will they like me if they have to do the work?

If I set an ultimatum, am I a jerk?!

Won’t you please, please stop me?!

So many times, I tried to help, but then got stuck

I didn’t know but my patients were also thinking what the #?@!

Your podcast said to test at the start and after every session.

And then my eyes they opened wide

Boy, was that a lesson!

Oh Help me not to help, oh Dr. Burns!

Help me unlearn the bad habits I have learned

I’ll do homework when my urge to help returns

Won’t you please, please help me?!

Now I explore my patients’ reasons not to change.

I learned to sit with open hands if they choose to stay the same.

Only when they fight for change and want to do the work,

That’s when I offer tools, and know the changes will endure.

You’ve helped me not to help, oh Dr. Burns

‘Til my patients show me that they really yearn

To do the work and ask me really firmly

Won’t you please, please help me?

Your podcasts helped ME!

Oooooooh!

Much warmth to each of you!

Heather and Brendan

Our next guest was the brilliant and beloved Dr. Jill Levitt who joined my weekly Stanford training group when she and her husband, Brian, and two boys moved to the Bay Area from New York in 2007. Jill has moved up in the ranks and now co-leads the Tuesday group with me, and also joins me as co-therapists in a great many live sessions we have published as two consecutive podcasts.

The idea is to document exactly how TEAM-CBT works, and how we can nearly always get such blow-away results in a single, extended session. That was my dream as a young man, since the methods I was taught as a psychiatric resident almost never got rapid results, or even any noticeable changes in my patients. Now that dream has become a reality, and a great many people in our TEAM-CBT community have contributed to that evolution.

Next we were joined by our beloved Dr. Amy Huberman. Her riveting personal work on perfectionism was published recently on two consecutive Feeling Good Podcasts. Amy was glowing and filled with joy, which gave us great feelings of joy as well!

And then we were graced by a visit from Mina, who has starred in many Feeling Good Podcasts on a number of personal issues. I will be seeing Mina and her beloved husband in a few minutes for our Sunday morning hike and dim sum feast afterwards. It is always a highlight of my week!

Next was another Amy Berner who reported on her recent and wildly successful Intimate Connections Book Club with yet another psychiatrist, Dr. Leigh Harrington. Amy did some personal work with me on dating and sex appeal three years ago, when we discussed the Queen Bee phenomenon.

Apparently, it was successful, because she brought her fantastic husband, Randy Kolin, as proof of the effectiveness of the many dating strategies and tips in that book. Randy is also a mental health professional who works with stressed-out scientists working on nuclear fusion at the Lawrence Livermore Laboratories.

We wish him all the best since the work of those scientists is well on the road to creating commercially viable nuclear fusion, which will transform life as we know it on the surface of the earth by supplying unlimited, clean, low-cost energy.

Their visit was followed by Zane Pierce, whom I hadn’t had the chance to chat with much for a number of years. He led a recent “delight” and “gratitude” hike that we published on podcast # 361entitled “Finding Joy in Everyday Life,” with Dr. Angela Krumm from the Feeling Good Institute in Mountain View, California.

We have done previous podcasts with Zane, and his lovely wife, Daisy, including one of our most popular podcasts ever on “What’s the Secret of a Meaningful Life,” Episode 079.

And then came the magnificent colleague and friend, Indrani Mookerjee.  Indrani joined our community after attending the 2019 intensive, and recently did one of the most explosive and jaw-dropping podcasts, Episodes 359 & 360, “You Wowed Me, A Mother-Daughter Conflict,” featuring her personal work on her relationship with her daughter.

Indrani had struggled, unsuccessfully, to get close to her daughter, whom she loved greatly. She made a mind-blowing discovery of why during her personal work, and instantly achieved what I call “interpersonal enlightenment.) She now provides the joyous follow up on how her relationship with her daughter has blossomed and evolved since that momentous moment.

Next, we were joined by Mike Christensen, who is our top TEAM therapist in Canada. Mike became familiar with my work when he read Feeling Good in 2006 and then heard a keynote speech I gave at a conference in 2009. Since that time, he attended many of my two-day workshops in Canada, and now is a leading TEAM-CBT therapist and teacher. He’s been a featured guest on seven Feeling Good Podcasts or episodes of Facebook Live, when I was doing televised work on Facebook every Sunday afternoon.

Mike describes himself as “joyously average,” a idea that really resonates with me. It is a form of “invisible enlightenment” which nearly everyone fears, but you cannot understand the incredible liberation of this “Great Death” of the “self” until you’ve experienced. We recollected a Feared Fantasy exercise we once did together while hiking one evening following a workshop in Canada.

We also got updated on his beautiful and brilliant daughter, Katlin, who is now studying psychology in college and hopefully heading for her own career doing TEAM-CBT.

And finally, one my most favorite people in the, our brilliant, wonderful, and funny Sara Shane, whose life-changing enlightenment has been a fantastic source of joy and inspiration to me and to many. Sara came from humble roots, as a Mexican immigrant picking fruit with her parents for survival in the US, and is now living in the Central Valley and attending not one, but two weekly TEAM-CBT training groups.

She specializes in brief intensive treatments for the patients she treats. You may recall her from podcast #162, High Speed Cure for OCD, where she described her single-session treatment for 20 years of OCD / contamination phobia. She also did a lot of personal work to achieve liberation from her fairly severe social phobia and feelings of inferiority that were embedded from early childhood.

We love you and so much appreciate you, Sara!

That’s about it for today, but than you all for listening. Next week, we will likely have two consecutive Ask David podcasts with Dr. Matt May, followed by two consecutive podcasts called “Raw Emotion: Personal work with Chris,” featuring the work that Jill and I did with a young man with social fears and an almost unbelievably traumatic childhood, growing up in Palo Alto. The sound quality is not always top-notch, sadly, but the unbelievable quality and impact of this session easily makes up for that, so we have decided to publish it anyway, and hope you find it as amazing as we did.

David, Rhonda, and the whole gang!

Special Announcement Attend the legendary Summer Intensive Featuring Drs. David Burns and Jill Levitt August 8 - 11. 2024 Learn Advanced TEAM-CBT skills Heal yourself, heal your patients First Intensive in 5 long years. It will knock your socks off! Limited Seating--Act Fast! Click for registration / more information!

Sadly, this workshop is a training program which will be limited to therapists and mental health professionals and graduate students in a mental health field  Apologies, but therapists have complained when non-therapists have attended our continuing education training programs. This is partly because of the intimate nature of the small group exercises and the personal work the therapists may do during the workshop. Certified coaches and counselors are welcome to attend.

Hey, another special announcement! The long-awaited Feeling Great App is finally available in the Apple and Google stores. Check it out! You can try it for free!