Do You Have a Hompad?

The idea of talking to these things and getting them to do anything is so beyond me it's not even funny. I use em instead of home kit because i just don't trust, you know, having to yell at a lady in the tube seven or eight times to get her to understand what i am trying to tell her  is not my idea of fun. The hompads are fine. The ones on my desk in front of me, to the pair of minnies, drive me nut. They're about the size of a big baseball and i've really been tempted to see how far i can throw them. So i'm ready to use these. Ye, the idea