In today’s episode, we cover small talk with AJ, Johnny, and Michael.

Getting on the question train is one of the most common mistakes people make in conversations without realizing it, but what is it, why does it kill conversations, and how do you avoid getting on it?

What to Listen For

The pitfalls that lead to one-sided conversations - 0:00

What is the conversation formula you can use to create engaging conversations in any situation?
What is the conversation train and why do you want to avoid it when you’re talking to someone?
Why are people more likely to disclose personal information to strangers than to close friends?

The conversation formula - 13:20

What is the best way to start a conversation with someone you don’t know?
What kind of questions should you avoid when making small talk?
What is the most important part of a conversation after asking the initial question and why do we often trip up over it?

What is the question train and how do you avoid it? - 27:20

Why does an endless series of questions deter people from wanting to talk to you?
What easy-to-remember visual can you keep in mind when making engaging small talk?
What are the 3 A’s of value we should be giving to people when we’re speaking to them?
What is emotional contagion and why is it important to understand when leading a conversation?

Asking questions is a critical part of engaging conversations. But asking too many questions can kill a conversation. A conversation should be a balance between asking questions, listening, and relating. That means after you ask a question, you should be listening to what the other person says, and then responding with a statement that shows you were listening and that you understand what the other person was trying to say. You ask a question, they share, you share, then you can ask another question or preferably, they ask the next question.

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Resources from this Episode

Toolbox: Biggest Myth With Small Talk & 3 Mistakes to Avoid

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Self-Disclosure: An Experimental Analysis of the Transparent Self

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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Johnny on Instagram

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