Boris Johnson's Speech to the University of Oxford

Boris Johnson tells Damien he can't get into Oxford University. The boy runs out, hides in his room and lives on biscuits and leftover pizza. But Boris won't give up - every great leader has faced defeat. He's going to promise the students whatever they want. From now on, he's no longer a toth. He's a liberal. Next year, he wants to stand for President himself. His own dad runs a fish processing business. If he can get Boris's support and borrow some of the glamour of his inner circle, he might just manage it. They're all more pro-liberal than conservative.