I Feel Like I Don't Want to Live Alone

I'm a very paranoid person and like highly anxious and so is my mom So anytime my dad would go on business trips in our childhood home She would always carry like golf clubs and like leave them under the bed. For me, it's really hard for me to fall asleep if James isn't home Even though our neighborhood I feel like it is pretty safe And I'm just like super paranoid about it But one time James wasn't at home,. then I was like staying up till 2am just feeling really freaked out as usual Aww I do keep a bat in my room At all times. It's like over in the corner over there I keep like pepper spray on my keys but honestly