I think for me the system that I was in wasn't serving me so I had to create my own internal way of navigating it knowing that I wanted to continue playing within that system. Being a dude on the team that was a little bit different  was a little bit more counterculture, he says. And then I also had coaches that were very forward of the culture and were very systematized and wanted people to fall in line because they could be more efficient. Those coaches did not like me. They wanted me to be to not be different and tofall in line. So now for me when I'm look at it no I love all them that I play for now but there

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