The Power of Shamanism

I was in my 20s doing theater and that became my spirituality. My big question at the time was, you know, do I believe in God? I've been kind of pretending to be an atheist and I didn't really feel it in my heart. He transcends the categories of being and non being. That's a dude that we work duality. But let me put it this way: Is there something greater than just molecules or not? There is either something behind and above and through and within and without a molecular scientific world or not. Do I believe that or not? So I kind of went on a deep journey of like, I need to shit or get off the pot