Shame is an emotion that we don't like. And so you might try to avoid it. But if your main buffer is pornography, what are you probably going to default to doing? Viewing pornography to buffer from the shame that you're feeling. It's that temporary escape. How many of you have thought, oh, well, I already messed up and I kind of stink anyways. So I might as well just keep looking at it, right? That's that shame, shame trap because then what happens, we hop into that shame cycle again. As long as you believe the shame, you will feel stuck. Shame is not required for quitting pornography.
In today's episode we talk about shame spirals.
It's important to stay connected to your emotions because your emotions cause your actions. Shame is not a useful emotion when it comes to quitting pornography or other habits. Shame always causes you to hide and avoid. Many people believe that shame is a motivator, when in fact it is the opposite. It is a de-motivater. You can not hate yourself into change.
Shame comes from thoughts, not from looking at pornography. Shame comes from thoughts that have the underlying message of, "there is something wrong with me".
We find ourselves in shame spirals when we 1. thing something is wrong with me 2. feel shame 3. hide and avoid. 4. view pornography to escape the shame --> and then starting the cycle all over.
Join me in todays episode to learn how to combat this shame cycle!
Ready to commit to quitting pornography? I would love to be your coach. Visit this link to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme