3min chapter

The Couples Therapist Couch cover image

177: Understanding People Pleasing with Natalie Lue

The Couples Therapist Couch

CHAPTER

The Difference Between Aggressive and Assertive People Pleasers

There's a difference between aggressive and assertive. People pleasers try to meet their needs by meeting them behind the scenes. Someone who was aggressive tries to do that with force. And when you are assertive, which is somewhere more in the middle of those two, you can have your boundaries - without disrespecting somebody else. So what you do find is actually that a lot of people pleasers enter gravitating to somebody else who takes lead. If you're going along with what somebody else wants, then yeah, somebody else is going to be taking the lead and basically being the driver of the relationship.

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