Couples Therapy - Is Your Wife in the Room?

I have had a number of situations where a man is coming into therapy, and he's comingin as an individual, and there's trouble. There's trouble at home, there's trouble in the marriage. And oftentimes what i notice is they long for connection. They long for for psychological, spiritual, emotional intimacy with their female partner, and they can't break through. The thing that i also find that is very sad is that when i validate the legitimate suffering of these male clients, it scares them to death. Because they see in me, the validation and the legitimate, true care that i experience with them as something that is threatening to them.