Have you ever shown up at a party feeling like you missed the dress code cue on the invitation? It’s awful. You stand around talking to people, but the only thing on your mind is how uncomfortable you feel about the way you look.

It’s called the “spotlight effect,” when we feel like everyone’s looking at us more than we actually are. Most of the time when we feel like everyone’s watching very few actually are. They’re paying too much attention to themselves to really care. When everyone’s thinking about themselves no one is focused on you.

But if the party you underdressed for is a wedding, people ARE looking at you, because it’s a part of the experience. Everyone’s looking at the couple, no doubt. But also the wedding party. And the parents as they walk down the aisle or do the first dance. Everyone’s being primed to look at how people are dressed, even if they’re not the star of the show.

Which means as a vendor you have to show up looking like you fit in with ‘fit.

I know, I know, I can hear many of you already. “But I have to be on my feet all day.” Yes, I agree - but you can’t show up to a black tie event wearing padded sneakers.

So what’s the criteria for wedding pros working at weddings?

As with most advice, it depends on the situation. I brought in Julian Leaver, luxury event planner and The Dapper Diplomat, to talk with me about grooming and attire on the wedding day. Because you don’t want to book at higher price points and then lower your brand value by going too casual at the event.

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