The Importance of Transparency in Relationships

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Sally Kohn: I feel like part of it might be risk aversion. You're like, well, the thing right now is not that bad. If I'm transparent, I don't know what's going to happen. It could actually go way worse. And do I want to risk that? She says being transparent means you will get more blowups in your relationships when someone reacts poorly to the transparency. But on net, you'll have like much better relationships and like the ones that blow up, okay, you won't be friends with people, but you'll be friends with other people.Kohn: Both those need to be plugged in too.

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Why is most communication advice so fluffy? How can we actually communicate better? Why do we sometimes fail to say what we mean or what needs to be said? What counts as "nonviolent" communication? To what extent is avoidance of conflict and confrontation a result of agreeableness versus cowardice? What aspects of divorce aren't talked about enough?

Misha Glouberman helps people communicate and connect better. He teaches a course called How to Talk to People About Things, online and in person, that helps people get better outcomes in their most important conversations at work and at home. He is an expert facilitator and designer of online and in-person events. He hosts the Trampoline Hall Lectures in Toronto, and is the co-author, with Sheila Heti, of The Chairs Are Where The People Go. He does lots of online events, so join his email list to learn more about them.

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