The Role of Caregivers in Hyper-Independence

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As children, we have a lot of emotional needs that need to be fulfilled in order for our brains to develop and our social skills as well. The first is emotional neglect, purification, and abandonment. When we are let down by the people who are meant to care for us, we learn to become self-sufficient in order to not be disappointed. That's where this idea of hyper-independence as a trauma response really comes from.

Independence is highly regarded as an admirable personality trait - we are obsessed with people who are self made, who solo travel, pay their own bills and don't seem to need anyone. However, our sense of independence can become problematic when we approach the point of hyper-independency. Hyper-independence refers to an excessive sense of self sufficiency and self reliance, in which we deny the help of others, prefer doing things on our own and avoid emotional vulnerability. Researchers have since suggested that this kind of behaviour may actually be a trauma response, whereby we push others away to protect ourselves from being hurt due to past experiences. In today's episode we break down the psychology of hyper-independence, specifically its origins in childhood emotional neglect and being forced to grow up too soon. We examine the major indicators of hyper-independence, the links to codependency, as well as the consequences this can have for our love lives and careers, whilst also exploring how we can heal. Listen now.

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