The Resistance to Talking About Your Problems

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Misha Glazer: I think there are a couple things that make me resistant to that approach. One of them is that it can come off as transactional. He says we tend to overvalue the near term pains and gains, undervalue short-term ones. "We tell ourselves stories afterwards to justify this resistance," he says.

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Why is most communication advice so fluffy? How can we actually communicate better? Why do we sometimes fail to say what we mean or what needs to be said? What counts as "nonviolent" communication? To what extent is avoidance of conflict and confrontation a result of agreeableness versus cowardice? What aspects of divorce aren't talked about enough?

Misha Glouberman helps people communicate and connect better. He teaches a course called How to Talk to People About Things, online and in person, that helps people get better outcomes in their most important conversations at work and at home. He is an expert facilitator and designer of online and in-person events. He hosts the Trampoline Hall Lectures in Toronto, and is the co-author, with Sheila Heti, of The Chairs Are Where The People Go. He does lots of online events, so join his email list to learn more about them.

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