I'm being told that i'm not this limited, miserable, puny little creature. I'm infinite existence and consciousness. Can i not experience that? Can i not realize that with so much hope we set out and the possibility that nothing will come of it? E i can take the name now. This gentleman, very devout gentleman, whom i met at the beginning of my monastic life, badul babu. He was in the ashram where i joined the order, in dogar in india. Ande he hado. That is a story about him. I heard from a senior monk who used to visit sami preme changi in his youth. One day