When your one-on-ones start sounding like therapy sessions with zero breakthroughs, it’s time to ask—what’s really going on here? Jason and Amy unpack a Reddit post from a manager caught in a swirl of venting, defiance, and total burnout from their team. They dive into what venting actually signals, why some people shoot down every idea (even the good ones), and how to rebuild trust when the whole vibe is off. Sometimes it’s not about “fixing” people—it’s about listening like you mean it and why “don’t bring me problems, bring me solutions” might be the most toxic advice you never meant to give. It’s a deep dive into messy middle management moments, complete with hard truths, small wins, and the uncomfortable art of getting unstuck—without just slapping on a smile and pretending everything’s fine.
Get all of the show notes at RadicalCandor.com/podcast.
Episode Links:
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Chapters:
(00:00:00) Introduction
Jason and Amy introduce a Reddit post about managing one-on-ones that turn into venting sessions.
(00:02:35) Complaining vs. Valid Frustration
How to treat repeated venting as a signal, not background noise.
(00:04:00) The Manager’s Middle Role
The challenges of managing from the middle of the org chart.
(00:05:12) Listening as a Strategic Tool
Why reflective listening helps clarify what really matters to your team.
(00:06:33) Soliciting Specific Feedback Effectively
Using targeted questions to gather feedback from frustrated reports.
(00:09:52)Tailoring Feedback Questions
Why not all feedback questions are equal: timing and specificity are key.
(00:10:37) Celebrating Small Wins
How to acknowledge constraints while celebrating progress.
(00:12:17) Shifting from Emotion to Action
Encouraging forward motion by focusing on what can be done now.
(00:14:19) Managing Venting Time
Balancing space to vent with the need to move forward.
(00:17:03) Venting Culture & Peer Influence
How one person’s negativity can shape the entire team dynamic.
(00:19:01) Manipulative Insincerity & Unmet Needs
Understanding venting as a shortcut to connection and belonging.
(00:20:35) “Don’t Bring Me Problems” – Helpful or Harmful?
Why banning complaints can backfire—and what to do instead.
(00:22:14) The Roleplay: Shooting Down Every Idea
A roleplay showing how to respond when every idea gets shot down.
(00:27:00) Solutions Without Overpromising
How to be honest about constraints without losing trust.
(00:28:54) Radical Candor Tips
Actionable tips to guide productive, empathetic one-on-ones.
(00:31:38) Conclusion
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