The Importance of Desire in Relationships

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A lot of us have this idea when it comes to desire that in order to have sex, we should feel this intense passionate need for it. So one thing that I like to suggest to people is, can you think of other reasons why you might want to have sex? It's not just that I'm feeling this passion in my body, I have to have a release. But what are other reasons? Maybe it's, I love the way it feels after we have sex, when we're just lying there together and we feel so close. Or maybe sometimes it's,. I like to have an experience just being in my body and not doing doing all day long.

1. How to finally discover what turns us on, how to discuss turn-offs – and how to create “sex menus” with our partners.

2. The real reason so many of us don’t feel like having sex.

3. How to ask for more sex – and how to turn it down without hurting your partner.

4. Orgasm – why it’s not the whole shebang – and what to do if we’ve been faking it.

5. Glennon and Abby engage in an exercise to practice talking dirty. (Glennon has not recovered.)

For the first part of our conversation with Vanessa, check out Episode 195: Sex Talk & That Night in Miami: Sex Therapy with Vanessa Marin.

And to hear our original “Silent Sex Queen” episode, go way back and check out: Episode 14: SILENT SEX QUEEN: Why aren’t we talking about sex more?

About Vanessa:

Vanessa Marin is a sex therapist and instant New York Times Best Selling author of Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life, co-written with her husband and partner-in-crime, Xander Marin.

Vanessa is here to help you kick shame out of the bedroom so you can start feeling the connection, pleasure, and joy you deserve!

Vanessa has been featured in various major publications and has written for The New York Times, Allure, and Lifehacker.

TW: @VMTherapy

IG: @vanessaandxander

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