Exploring Emotional Intelligence and Relationships

This chapter critically examines emotional intelligence (EQ), discussing its origins and challenging claims about its superiority over IQ in predicting success. The speakers explore emotional regulation strategies in relationships, highlighting differences in how partners manage emotions and the concept of co-regulation. Ultimately, they emphasize the importance of self-awareness and realistic expectations for fostering healthier interpersonal connections.

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What are emotions? Why do we feel anything at all? And more importantly — can we actually get better at feeling?

In this episode, Drew and I dive headfirst into what might be the hardest question in all of psychology: what the actual f**k are emotions? We break down the biology, neuroscience, evolution, culture, and even language that shape how we feel — and why we often don’t understand what the hell is going on inside us. From ancient philosophy to brain scans, this is a deep (and occasionally weird) look into the emotional chaos that makes us human.

We unpack everything from the origins of emotional intelligence (spoiler: it might be BS) to the science of emotional regulation, attachment styles, and the sneaky ways your culture wires your emotional defaults. Along the way, we explore why some relationships make you feel like a better person while others drain the life out of you, and how trauma, genetics, and childhood with your ability to keep it together.

But this episode isn’t just about understanding emotions — it’s about learning how to work with them. And we give you a full emotional toolkit: a set of evidence-based tools to help you manage your emotions, build better relationships, feel more motivated, and yes — even feel more confident in yourself in the process.

We also put together a free companion guide for this episode with all the takeaways, references, and tools to help you get your sh*t together once and for all. Download it here: https://solvedpodcast.com/emotions

Ready to stop listening to podcasts and actually start taking action? Join Momentum, a community of like-minded people who are taking small steps every day to make big changes in their lives: https://findmomentum.com/emotions

Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough

Chapters:

0:00:00 Introduction

0:04:47 Chapter 1: What Are Emotions?

0:14:04 The Emotional Brain

0:22:03 Neurotransmitters

0:34:25 Evolution of Emotions

0:39:53 How Life Experiences Shape Emotional Regulation

0:48:41 Conclusion on What are Emotions

0:49:45 Chapter 2: How Culture Influences Our Emotions

0:55:44 Vietnam Bike Story

1:00:05 Your Culture Trains You to Want Certain Feelings