When you notice that the things are decaying around you, would you just kind of have the same experience? Like, am I, do I need these things to not be decaying? Okay. And also my, my memory was really different. So like I was operating off of pretty short term memory and like things just wouldn't stick. You were getting this kind of increasing just positive state at all times. But did you think about your future? Did you think about the fact that, you know, you might run out of money? "I made some choice to preserve my identity," he says.