223. “We make $81k/yr in our 30s. Is that enough?”
Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi
Budgeting Dynamics in Relationships
This chapter explores the contrasting budgeting philosophies between partners, focusing on frugality versus spontaneous spending. Through discussions around spending habits and financial alignment, the speakers examine how differing attitudes toward money can impact relationship dynamics.
Becca (35) and Nikki (31) are planning their wedding, but they’re already struggling with how to merge their money. Becca, a rock climbing guide with a variable income, has thrown herself into personal finance after years of scarcity thinking and now tracks every dollar. Nikki wants to feel more empowered but often defers to Becca’s lead—and sometimes hides financial stress, like credit card debt.
Together they net around $80,000, but with high fixed costs, student loans, and uncertainty about investing, their dream of building wealth feels out of reach. They want a clear, intentional financial plan that lets them invest confidently and step into marriage as equal partners. Can Ramit help them overcome ambivalence, balance their roles, and create a structure that supports both their dreams and their future together?
In this episode we uncover:
• Why Becca tracks every single dollar
• Nikki’s tendency to “not overthink” spending
• The power dynamic of one partner leading on money while the other defers
• How Becca’s deep dive into personal finance turned her into the household CFO
• Why high fixed costs and seasonal income keep them from investing the way they want
• The emotional tug-of-war between wanting to combine finances and being afraid of what that might mean
• How their childhood money lessons still show up in every conversation
• What they imagine for their Rich Life together, and why ambivalence keeps them from making clear decisions
• Ramit’s challenge to build a financial structure that balances empowerment, responsibility, and trust
Chapters:
(00:00:00) “I don’t want to steer us wrong”
(00:17:09) Ramit breaks down their numbers
(00:26:21) Childhood money scripts that carry into adulthood
(00:39:41) “Why are you playing so small?”
(00:49:22) “The freedom is in the commitment”
(01:06:12) Redesigning their Conscious Spending Plan
(01:26:23) Where are they now? Becca and Nikki’s follow-ups
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Links mentioned in this episode
• Get tickets for my next live events—September 14 in Atlanta and September 26 in Los Angeles—at iwt.com/events
• I’m casting couples right now for a new season of this podcast. If you’ve been wanting to get my advice on your situation, this is the last chance to talk to me in 2025. Apply now at iwt.com/apply
Connect with Ramit
• Get my new book, Money For Couples
• Get Money Coaching with Ramit
• Download the Conscious Spending Plan
• Listen to my book—now on Audible
• Get my New York Times best-selling book
• YouTube
If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.
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