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I'm the Victim of the System
Are you clinging to that narrative of yourself as a victim and that becomes the main part of your sense of who you are? That is a huge prison that's worse than a physical prison. The spiritual awakening is very very rare, I don't even have heard of anybody who became awakened in their comfort zone. So it's when your surface reality becomes frustrating that's the beginning of potentially finding the portal into the awakened state.