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Getting Better with Jonathan Van Ness

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I Don't Look Like the Man on TV

The first time i saw one of their commercials, it stopped me dead in my tracks. When the commercial ended and my desire to hump a pillow went away, a horrifying despair took hold. I looked at my own body and wondered, why don't i look like him? It's not like anybody i knew in real life had ab so that i might slash my finger open just by touching those glorious edges. But damn, i hope whatever ad agency landed that account got paid a butload of money. Because here we are, more than 25 years later, and i'm still talking about that focking thing.

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