Was It a Crush or a Fuck No?

I shut off that part of my brain because when I knew I was queer from like a very young age. So any attraction I had towards women was terrifying to me. There's this one girl I ran track with that I just had such a big crush on. I loved her so much, but I hated myself. And then also there's lots of shame around sexuality Because there were a couple of boys in my grade who sexually assaulted me and she did nothing about it. That was such a trauma dump.

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