Comparing Online and In-Person Friendships

In this Quick Chat episode, Xochitl and Jack discuss whether or not we can build close relationships with internet friends.

00:00:01

Jack

Welcome to the A-Z English podcast, where Jack and Social take you on a journey from learning the basics to mastering the nuances of the English language. Our podcast is designed for non-native speakers who are looking to improve their English skills in a fun and interactive way. Each episode covers a wide range of topics.

00:00:23

Jack

From grammar and vocabulary to slang and culture to help you navigate the English speaking world with ease.

00:00:31

Jack

Welcome to the ADIZ English podcast. My name is.

00:00:34

Jack

Jack and I am.

00:00:35

Jack

With here, with my co-host. So.

00:00:37

Jack

So and today we are doing one more quick chat episode and today's quick chat question is do you believe that online friends can be as close as offline friends?

00:00:53

Jack

So. So. So what do you?

00:00:54

Jack

Think about that.

00:00:56

Xochitl

Jack, I think it's very interesting because we grew up in different ages. I basically am part of the generation that's called natives where we grew up alongside technology. So I can't remember a time before computers and Internet.

00:01:15

Xochitl

Yeah, maybe sometimes I think I remember, like, the dial-up screeching. I'm.

00:01:19

Xochitl

Not 100 on.

00:01:20

Xochitl

It I think there were cell phones. I remember there being like Internet and computers when I was a child like even before.

00:01:31

Xochitl

The age of 5.

00:01:32

Xochitl

And my earliest memories involved technology.

00:01:35

Xochitl

But I also did.

00:01:36

Xochitl

Grow up in a time where we still would go and play with the neighbors and stuff like that. I don't know if kids do that as much as as we.

00:01:44

Xochitl

Used to and Jack I think sorry Hun.

00:01:46

Jack

To interrupt.

00:01:47

Jack

You. But yeah, when I was growing up as a.

00:01:49

Jack

Kid, we literally.

00:01:50

Jack

Just ran out of the house in the morning.

00:01:53

Jack

And our parents didn't know where we were, and there was no way for them to to contact us. Just.

00:02:00

Jack

Hope they come home.

00:02:02

Jack

And that was it, you.

00:02:03

Jack

Know, yeah.

00:02:04

Xochitl

I still kind of grew up in this because we, like my dad, had a cell phone and stuff, but we didn't have cell phones until we were like 13. I think cell phones were already around, but like, my parents didn't let us have them until we were 13 until I was 13 and my sister was like a little older. I. No, I guess when she turned 13, she got her first.

00:02:23

Xochitl

Son. And then I got.

00:02:25

Xochitl

And my friends 13 but.

00:02:30

Xochitl

As a little kid, like a little little kid under the age of 10. And I would remember waking up in the morning also and running out of the house and I would yell at my mom, I'm going over to Linda's house or whatever and she's like, OK and then we run over to the next door neighbor's.

00:02:44

Xochitl

House and like.

00:02:45

Xochitl

Bring the door to talk, I mean.

00:02:47

Xochitl

Can you imagine?

00:02:48

Xochitl

Parents were just so tolerant of this.

00:02:50

Xochitl

And like either the kid would come out.

00:02:52

Xochitl

Directly or your parents would come.

00:02:54

Xochitl

And be like, hey, what's?

00:02:55

Xochitl

Up and you'd be like.

00:02:57

Xochitl

Hey, can, like Landon come out and.

00:02:59

발표자 3

OK.

00:03:01

Xochitl

Blah blah come out and play. Maggie, come on and play like and then they would come and you would like, run over to the park together or ride your bike to the park and just cause mischief. We got into some good crap, but yeah, that was my experience as well.

00:03:17

Jack

OK. Yeah. So our our experiences are not that different. I mean I I never had my first computer till I was 26 years old or 27. So you know, I never really.

00:03:30

Jack

UM.

00:03:32

Jack

I mean, I had a computer, but I never really had the Internet. Like I I never had access to Internet till I was 26.

00:03:37

Jack

27 so that's.

00:03:39

Jack

That's how old I was when I started using a computer. So what do you what do you think about the online friends thing? So do you feel like you could you can be you can have close relationships with people online?

00:03:43

Xochitl

Right.

00:03:52

Xochitl

I think in a way like some aspects of of like.

00:03:57

Xochitl

Personal relationships are.

00:03:59

Xochitl

Closer and some aspects of online relationships are closer.

00:04:02

Xochitl

I feel like when.

00:04:04

Xochitl

You have online friendships because I grew up like in an age where once we were like, allowed to use a computer and stuff.

00:04:10

Xochitl

We would talk to strangers and stuff like being 13 and they're also 13. At least that's what you're hoping about their end. Yes. And I think you feel so comfortable telling people, like, intimate details of your life. Obviously, we were taught about stranger Danger. And you don't tell them, like, where you live or your address or anything.

00:04:16

Jack

Yeah, no kidding.

00:04:30

Xochitl

And I never had anyone ask.

00:04:32

Xochitl

UM, but you feel so comfortable telling them about like.

00:04:39

Xochitl

Your family life and embarrassing things that maybe you wouldn't want to get.

00:04:45

Xochitl

Out at school.

00:04:47

Xochitl

And so I think there's like a certain level of closeness that's hard to replicate in person because it's almost like.

00:04:55

Xochitl

It's really comfortable because there's like no embarrassment and there's no, like fear of judgment. It's like.

00:05:01

Xochitl

It takes down some of the boundaries.

00:05:04

Xochitl

We're getting to know a person in person like relationships, whether they're friendships or romantic relationships or whatever. They tend to develop a lot more slowly, and they're a lot more like boundaries that have to be broken down, not necessarily in a negative way, but just like.

00:05:22

Xochitl

Peoples like.

00:05:24

Xochitl

You know, when you initially meet someone, you're going to be a lot less comfortable, and it takes a while. Yeah, it takes a while to break through that and to kind of get to know someone on a deeper.

00:05:28

Jack

Right. Their defenses maybe. Yeah.

00:05:36

Xochitl

Level, but there are things.

00:05:38

Xochitl

That, like in person, friends can do for you.

00:05:41

Xochitl

That online friends can't. And while I remember a lot of like my online friends and where I wonder where they are now, I remember this one girl I used to talk to you all the time from like some other.

00:05:56

Xochitl

Place across the world.

00:06:00

Xochitl

It's really different than like your childhood friends that you remember spending time with and that you can still catch up with in person or like.

00:06:08

Xochitl

Experiences in person.

00:06:11

Xochitl

Hanging out with people and having like a good time in person.

00:06:13

Xochitl

Is such a.

00:06:16

Xochitl

Different bonding experience than being online, where it can still feel isolating in some ways.

00:06:23

Xochitl

Yeah. What do you think?

00:06:23

Jack

OK. So it sounds like you're kind of like, you feel like it's it's kind of can be it it's possible like you can have close relationships and?

00:06:33

Xochitl

Yes, I think it's just it's a different type of relationship. I also think we live in an age where online relationships and friendships can evolve into in person ones, and they often do.

00:06:34

발표자

OK.

00:06:44

Xochitl

Like you know, Jack, we, we.

00:06:46

Xochitl

Are online friends we've never met and realize.

00:06:49

Jack

Ohh yeah, that's true. That's right. That's right, yeah.

00:06:52

Xochitl

Those guys don't know that and I and it's funny because I kind of forgot that. Did you kind?

00:06:56

Jack

Right, right. Because we just get together once a week and record.

00:06:56

Xochitl

Of forget that.

00:06:58

발표자 3

Did you?

00:07:00

Jack

And we we met through the Facebook and you came on our podcast as a guest and then you joined The A-Z English podcast and then you and I've been chatting every, every weekend for months and months.

00:07:15

Xochitl

For the year over year now back I think are coming on New Year. It's so it's very weird because we're online friends and I think that it it can evolve into like an in person friendship as well, they're just like different types of friendship.

00:07:18

Jack

Is it?

00:07:19

Jack

Right.

00:07:32

Xochitl

But like, it wouldn't be weird at all for me if Jack was visiting Mexico. For me to be like, oh, yeah, stop by my house. You can stay. You can crash at my place like your family can stay at my place. I wouldn't find.

00:07:42

Xochitl

It weird, you know.

00:07:43

Jack

Like what? Likewise, you know, it'd be like if you came to to Korea. Of course. We'd have to get together and have a BBQ at our house. And you could meet my wife. And I mean, it's just be it's a no brainer situation, but it's the only thing holding us back is geography. But the thing that allows us to remain friends is technology.

00:08:03

Jack

So it's kind of a, it's just a weird relationship between geography and technology, I think. So to give my opinion, I I think you definitely can be friends with with people online because like you said, we're an example, a living example of that. But I also have never.

00:08:23

Jack

Really had online friends before the last, maybe year or so, maybe since like.

00:08:30

발표자

Right.

00:08:31

Jack

You know, since I started teaching and doing the A-Z English podcast and meeting students in our WhatsApp group and then doing the zoom classes, our our free online zoom lessons.

00:08:45

Jack

Did I start to get to know the students and they're people that I never would have met because I just never will.

00:08:53

Jack

Or I never would have been just walking through Iran or Saudi Arabia or Colombia. Most likely. I mean, there's a chance I could go to those countries, but what is the?

00:09:05

Jack

Likelihood that I'm.

00:09:05

Jack

Gonna meet those students in those countries accidentally. You know, it's just it's it's such a.

00:09:10

발표자

Right.

00:09:14

Jack

Infinitesimal chance that we would we would meet that the only way for us really to connect all these people together would be through the use of technology through a zoom application or whatever other platforms. Yeah. Chatting and and.

00:09:30

Xochitl

WhatsApp chaps.

00:09:35

Jack

Yeah. What WhatsApp. Yeah.

00:09:38

Jack

So I they they are, it is a different type of relationship. Someone one of my students said something that was really profound that I I kept thinking about it for a couple days afterwards and she said that online friends is way less stressful. You don't have to go to a coffee shop. You don't have to.

00:09:58

Jack

Split the bill. You don't have to leave your house like the comfort of your own house. So in a way, I I was like.

00:10:08

Jack

It is that. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? And I think that that's I think it's kind of a good thing because I've I frankly don't like leaving.

00:10:19

Jack

My house and.

00:10:19

Jack

I I like the the the easiness of of.

00:10:23

Jack

Contacting, you know, having interaction with students.

00:10:29

Jack

So yeah.

00:10:32

Xochitl

Yeah, I don't want to speak for everyone, but I do think personally the fact that we've been, we've gotten so comfortable, just like from my own experience, gotten so comfortable with being in our house like all the time and interacting in person with a really small social circle and doing a lot of interactions online and stuff. I honestly do think that's why we have.

00:10:53

Xochitl

Like a very much more isolated experience as humans, getting a lot of our social interactions and validations from online sources has led to the loneliness epidemic that we're seeing globally now.

00:11:07

Jack

Yeah, I think you're right. I mean, I think it it started with COVID like that's that seems to be where a lot of people were stuck inside and they went to online and that's where I did too, because I'd always just had offline relationships mostly. I mean, my whole life, I I was never comfortable, you know, doing the online thing. But now I really enjoy it.

00:11:27

Jack

I mean, I really. I'm I I you can meet so many more people. You get to hear about their lives. But I think the one downside is that people can drop out just as quickly as they they come.

00:11:39

Jack

You know, cause all it takes is just. Basically they just turn off their computer and you've you don't know what happened to them. Are they alive? Are they OK? Did they get a new job? Did they move to a new city? And so people can just drop in and drop out. So it's not. It's it's not as deep as like.

00:11:59

Jack

An offline relationship where you're where you've like. You were saying you you broke down those defenses and you've you've met with that person face to face. But I also think that like.

00:12:13

Jack

The online can be if you cultivate those relationships they they can be and as long as the other person is is is answering the phone and putting in the effort then it it can be just the same as an offline relationship so.

00:12:28

Xochitl

I think so. I think that's what it comes down to ultimately. So yeah, I agree with you and I'd love for our viewers to let us know if they think online relationships can be as close as in personal relationships or not. Is it also, do you think that like an online relationship is a good starting point to cultivate?

00:12:47

Xochitl

An in person relationship or like immune sustained contact.

00:12:51

Xochitl

With people that you've.

00:12:52

Xochitl

Moved apart from physically? Yeah, I'm really curious to know what you guys think. So leave us a comment down below. Make sure to check out our website the A-Z englishpodcast.com Shoot us an e-mail at the AZ englishpodcast@gmail.com and join our WhatsApp group and we'll see you guys next.

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