Reflection vs Regret: Embracing Growth in the New Year

For me, the last full week of the year has always been the chance to pause, take a break from the grind of selling, and really think about what happened over the past year—the good, the bad, and the ugly. If you are anything like me and do the same, there are two ways to look back on your last twelve months. You can do so with regret or reflection. These two opposing lenses are vastly different in the way they affect your view of where you’ve been and where you are going. Regret Let’s start by unpacking regret. Some of you are already feeling regret about goals you missed, deals you lost, opportunities that slipped through your fingers, or the people in your life you may have let down. Regret is that feeling you get when you look back on something you did (or didn’t do) and wish you could change it. In many ways, regret is similar to worry, except it’s focused on the past instead of the future. Worry is about what might happen; regret is about what already happened. That’s a big distinction. Although you can turn worry into action and change the future, you cannot rewrite the past. No amount of regret changes history. All it does is create a feedback loop in your mind where you keep reliving your mistakes, misses, and failures over and over again.   Stuck in the Endless Loop of Regret   I’ve observed so many people get stuck in this endless loop of regret. They keep lamenting, "If only I had . . ." "made that call,” “handled that prospect differently,” “taken that chance,” “been there or done that.” Those “if only's” can paralyze you. They sap your energy, crush your confidence, and keep you from moving forward. On one hand, regret can push you to change—you don’t want to feel that kind of pain again, so you work hard to avoid repeating the same mistakes. On the other hand, regret can become a debilitating emotion that drags you into an exhausting and useless mental loop of “would’ve, could’ve, should’ve.” But no matter how many times you complete that loop, it doesn’t change the outcome. It becomes an emotional anchor that weighs you down as you start the new year. Reflection Reflection, on the other hand, is entirely different—and far more productive. When you reflect, you detach from your emotions with objectivity to look at your entire body of work from the past year. You’re asking the questions, “What went well? What didn’t go so well? What did I learn?” You consider the wins that made you proud and the moments you’d rather forget. You figure out why you won so you can repeat those winning behaviors. You extract value from the lessons of failure. Reflection isn’t about punishing yourself for what went wrong. It’s about gaining clarity on why it went wrong—and what you can do about it next time. Reflection Creates Awareness Reflection also helps you find gratitude in unexpected places. Maybe there’s a hidden lesson in overcoming an obstacle or perhaps you gained a new perspective because a challenging person came into your life. It’s important to realize that each decision you made over the past year shaped your present circumstances. But you are not defined by these circumstances, only by how you respond to them. Reflection creates awareness. Where there is awareness there is the potential for change. Awareness is like the sun, anything it touches has a tendency to transform. The bottom line is that reflection is about learning, growing, and transforming. Regret is stagnation. Why Reflection Matters at Year-End The reason I’m talking about the impact of reflection as we close out this year is because, for most of us, the slate really does feel clean come January 1st. In the sales world, we get a brand-new quota and brand-new targets. There’s an air of possibility as we think, “This year is going to be different. “This year, I’m going to crush my numbers.” “Hit my income targets.” “Make it to President’s club.”