Using IFS in Romantic Relationships

Gabrielle explains bringing IFS language into partnerships, doing your own work, and the 'take off the turban' approach.

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Have you been feeling anxious lately?

Do you notice when your mind starts to spiral?

Jay welcomes back his good friend and New York Times bestselling author Gabrielle Bernstein for a deep and inspiring conversation about true inner healing. Together, they unpack Gabby’s latest book, Self-Help, which reimagines Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) as a practice anyone can bring into their daily life. Gabby shares how the parts of us we often judge, the anxious part, the perfectionist, the people-pleaser, the one who needs control, aren’t our enemies. They’re parts that have been trying to protect us, even if they sometimes get in the way.

As the conversation unfolds, Jay and Gabby unpack why so many of us get caught in cycles of burnout, self-criticism, and emotional disconnection. Gabby shares her simple four-step “check-in” practice, a way to pause, look inward, and start building a kinder relationship with ourselves. Through this process, she explains, we can start to recognize our patterns, meet them with compassion and find peace even in the midst of life’s noise.

Together, they unpack powerful questions we can all relate to: Why is it easier to comfort others than ourselves? Could our inner critic actually be trying to protect us? And how can we set boundaries without losing our empathy or warmth?

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to Befriend Every Part of Yourself

How to Recognize Your Inner Protectors

How to Heal Through Compassion, Not Control

How to Calm Your Inner Critic

How to Create Boundaries Without Guilt

How to Self-Soothe When You Feel Triggered

Healing doesn’t mean fixing what’s broken, it means learning to see every part of yourself with compassion and curiosity. The parts of you that once felt heavy or hard to love are often the same ones that carried you through the toughest moments.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

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What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

03:29 What is Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy?

06:00 Healing Deep Trauma Through IFS

08:38 Where Real Healing From Trauma Begins

10:17 Blending Therapy with Spiritual Connection

13:38 Strengthen Your Own Spiritual Foundation

16:57 The Four-Step Self Check-In Practice

20:32 The Journey Toward Feeling Truly Great

25:39 Finding Peace Without External Validation

26:46 We All Have An Inner Spiritual Power