The Pressure of Asking for Help

When I was in my worst bouts of depression, I dreamt of water a lot saying the mantra that they teach you, the water is your friend but it doesn't always feel like it. See, sometimes when standing at the bottom of the pool, I swear that I can feel the pressure of the droplets weighing down on me, seemingly stealing the oxygen from my lungs. And I know that I am responsible for me. I'm responsible for the harm that I've caused But I'm also responsible to work my way out of this trauma and teach myself how to swim. Oh black man be a pillar for your community. Be yourself but actually be the version that we all want you to