Practical Etiquette with People with Disabilities

What happens when a 17-year-old's dive into the Chesapeake Bay changes everything—and the healing never comes?

⁠Watch the full conversation on YouTube⁠.

Fifty-seven years later, Joni Eareckson Tada sits across from me with an answer that might undo everything you think you know about strength, suffering, and the strange mercy of God.

In this conversation marking the 35th anniversary of the Americans with Disabilities Act, we go where few dare: into the raw, daily reality of quadriplegia, chronic pain that would break most of us by breakfast, and a two-time battle with breast cancer. But this isn't inspiration porn. This is Joni—unflinching, funny, and fiercely honest about what it means when "I can do all things through Christ" meets 4 a.m. despair.

We talk about the crushing loneliness of being the only wheelchair in a room full of chairs. The rage when well-meaning Christians promise healing that doesn't come. The particular exhaustion of advocating for your own existence. And why she tells God some mornings, "I have no strength for today. Can I borrow yours?"

But we also discover something unexpected: how limitation becomes liberation. Why the disabled community might be the most honest place in America. And what happens when churches stop trying to "fix" people and start making room for them.

Fair warning: Joni doesn't do platitudes. She'll tell you exactly what not to say to someone in chronic pain (spoiler: "everything happens for a reason" isn't it). She'll explain why she's terrified of a world that's editing out Down syndrome. And she'll make you rethink whether your church's "all are welcome" sign means anything if there's no ramp to the door.

This is for anyone who's ever wondered where God is when the miracle doesn't come. For those caring for someone who's suffering and don't know what to say. For all of us who suspect our obsession with optimization and control might be making us miss the point entirely.

Come for the practical wisdom. Stay for the kind of hope that only comes from someone who's been asking "How long, O Lord?" for nearly six decades—and still believes the answer matters.

Keep up with Joni’s work through Joni and Friends, here.

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