The more that you feel like inadequate, or that you weren't good enough, you tried harder. And and when you were trying really, really hard, how overwhelmed did you feel? I i felt like i was always like, pushing against a wall all the time, right? Your problem isn't that you're unable; it's that you're pushing against something that is immovable. The solution is to stop trying to push a mountain. You've been doing this for years, and you've been trying and trying and trying, and all your effort is futile. It's a whole big mess of worthlessness.