How to Get Out of an Appendectomy in Japan?

Chris has had an appendectomy in Japan. He was taken to hospital late on Saturday night with severe abdominal pain. The staff panicked and ran away to print out long paragraphs of Google translate gibberish. They offered him the chance to get a second opinion, but they'd already booked me in for four that afternoon. Unfortunately, elderly care in Japan isn't great. Anyone with severe dementia gets dumped in hospitals. My family is unable to care for them. And so it was that I ended up in a ward full of extremely senile Japanese men and adult underwear, adult nappies rather. It's not hard to look cool when you're 40 years younger than everyone else not wearing a