For most people, pain has no gain. It's just trama that you survived. We develop greater gratitude by having experiences of gratitude that are internalized. Most of the experiences of the psychological muscles that we are growing and want to be growing in ourselves are rewarding experiences. In other words, theire not predominantly painful experiences, even if there's some painfulness mixed into it. To what use are these ideologies put about the nature of people, and the nature of growth?

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