We are really good at convincing ourselves of the things that we want to believe so self delusion is also a huge part of unrequited love. The fantasy that one day this person might change their mind turn around confess their feelings it's really self soothing for a lot of those different reasons I've mentioned. Often it is that person who is the most unavailable which is why we become hooked because it is their unwillingness to acknowledge you as a sexual or romantic partner That keeps you in a state of expectancy and longing. To win them would be just the biggest hit of self endorsement, says author.