Why Aren't We Asking for Help From People Who Have Already Done It?

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As an African American woman, you're always under a high level of scrutiny. So that one causes you to self censor yourself. But even in my experience, I think people want to help. And we know those people who want to help because they've already demonstrated it in so many ways.

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There’s a mythology in work and in life, of the individual who goes out and does all the things they want to do, completely on their own. The Self-reliant, capable of anything and everything human. We have a misguided story that that kind of self-sufficiency is an achievement, that anything less than that is a burden, and asking for help is a sign of weakness, lack, or inability.

This myth is doing us a lot of harm and, in turn, causing a lot of suffering, and keeping us from not only succeeding at a higher level in every area of life, but also creating opportunities to more deeply connect with other people.

But, how do we ask for help, in a world where no one teaches us how, and we’re concerned about how our request will land?

The reality is none of us have all the answers, and while we could probably figure out many things on our own, why would you when you could garner support from someone who has walked the path before you? Why wouldn’t you ask for guidance and potentially save yourself time, money, stress and disappointment? And build deeper relationships along the way.

In part one of today’s Hot Take episode, Jonathan & Deborah discuss:

Why should we ask for help & why it’s so difficult
Research that reveals the surprising reasons we don’t ask for help
The benefit of garnering support from someone who has walked the path before you
And why we should ask for what we actually need rather than what we think we can get

SPARKED HOT TAKE WITH: Deborah Owens | Website

After a long career in leadership in some of the biggest companies in the world, Deborah founded her own consulting firm, Corporate Alley Cat, where she advises and coaches People of Color in all aspects of career visioning and development. She has this incredible ability to see what’s happening under the surface in any given situation, and ask questions that get to the heart of the matter and reveal possibilities that feel both empowering and expansive.

AND HOSTED BY: Jonathan Fields

Jonathan is a dad, husband, award-winning author, multi-time founder, executive producer and host of the Good Life Project podcast, and co-host of SPARKED, too! He’s also the creator of an unusual tool that’s helped more than 650,000 people discover what kind of work makes them come alive - the Sparketype® Assessment, and author of the bestselling book, SPARKED.

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