In gay fighting, you have to go over there and pretend you're just a friend all the time. Why do you always bring your best friend to Christmas? Because he's my best friend. And why do you always get him a shaving razor for Christmas? Yeah. Every year. What do you think is more jolting to a family? It's like, um, um, I'm gay or it's like I'm vegan and I can't eat any of this.

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