I was convinced i was making a terrible, terrible mistake in my life. Sometimes when you get that level of anxiety, just let little fiddly things become impossible. I remember at one point looking out of the window to see what was down below me,. And we must have been flying siberia or something, i could just see this frozen wasteland down beneath me, and it just terrified me. Just was locked like this, like, oh god, what what am i doing? Got on the plane, had had a terrible flight. Wasn't comfortable or happy.