What sexy means to them

Shame, consent, kink, and God—Cat and Joshua share how deep introspection, clear boundaries, and asking better questions can transform intimacy, identity, and the way we show up as humans.

🔗 CAT & JOSHUA LINKS |  kinkcollective.net / ssdce.org / masterjoshua.com / @kink_collective

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📈 STATS | Partnered poly couple who have been together five years—she is 59, an educator and minister in training; he is a counselor, consultant, end-of-life Doula, and Professional Dominant—founders of Kink Collective.

⏰ TIME CODE

00:00 Shame, sexual self-acceptance, and creating judgement-free space

04:12 Rethinking sex education: intimacy, trust, and talking to kids about sex

06:05 What counts as sex, intimacy, and redefining connection

08:04 Sex work as care: investment, boundaries, and non-transactional intimacy

11:13 Healing through kink, spirituality, and holding space without judgement

14:08 Authenticity, masks, and living without separation between personal and professional selves

17:20 Supporting sex workers and reframing this work as sacred labor

19:49 Early desire, masculinity, military life, and becoming a guide

25:27 Sobriety, sexual freedom, kink discovery, and creating safer community spaces

30:20 Asking the right questions to dissolve shame and help people feel seen

34:48 Consent culture, rule-setting, and designing events that prioritize safety

39:07 People before kink: vulnerability, communication, and community responsibility

43:11 “Making better people through kinky sex” and transformational intensives

46:10 Power Exchange Academy, introspection exercises, and embodied learning

49:13 How language shapes desire, fear, and access to pleasure

53:01 Gender, validation, and moments that change how people see each other

56:33 The hardest parts of the work, marketing challenges, and sustainability

59:42 Sexual shame, childhood influences, and untangling judgement

01:02:09 Faith, BDSM, end-of-life work, and finding purpose through service

01:07:16 Boundaries, codependency, and choosing relationships that support growth

01:14:33 COVID, mortality awareness, and a surge in personal exploration

01:17:35 What the world needs to learn about sex, communication, and self-acceptance

01:18:51 How to connect, work together, and dream up future healing spaces

Originally released September 2023.

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🤩 TOPICS | Accountability, addiction recovery, authenticity, BDSM, boundaries, Catholic priest client, childhood influences, codependency, communication, compassion, connection, consent, counseling, degradation, desire, dom/sub dynamics, domination, emotional safety, end of life doula, erotic massage, ethical kink, event hosting, fetish exploration, fetish factory, gender identity, group play, healing through kink, humiliation play, inclusivity, intimacy, introspection, kink community, kink education, kink retreats, kinky events, leather lifestyle, LGBTQ+, life coaching, lifestyle dominance, liminal spaces, masks and authenticity, masturbation, military background, mutual masturbation, non-monogamy, nontraditional sexual behavior (NTSB), oral sex, orgasm, people before kink, personal development, play parties, polyamory, professional domination, punch play, recovered alcoholic, sacred sexuality, sanctuary, self-actualization, self-acceptance, self-awareness, self-expression, sex clubs, sex education, sex parties, sex positivity, sex work, sexual awakening, sexual communication, sexual expression, sexual healing, sexual shame, sexual trauma, sexy confidence, shame dismantling, shame journey, shared vulnerability, spanking, spirituality and sex, stranger sex, survivor support, swinger community, talking about sex, touch and consent, trauma healing, trust building, vanilla to kink transition, vulnerability.

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