In christian theology, this is called holy envy. You are envious of the spiritual status stature of the great masters and saints. I remember feeling that when when i would see a very revered monkiw once i got this feeling, it was like envy. If you want to see measures of success being a monk, he has ticked all the boxes.
Swami Sarvapriyananda teaches the Katha Upanishad, which is one of the most popular Upanishads. The scripture concerns the story of a young man who goes to the house of death to find out what happens after death. The reply describes the nature of reality and the meaning of life.