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I'm Not Accepting Because It's So Hurting, but I'll Stay. And That's Acceptance
I think part of why this is the predicament that you're in is because you're so isolated from any kind of social and emotional supports. You have been left alone, perhaps by his prompting or by your own feelings about it. It's very difficult to really be clear about things when you don't have a sounding board. Accepting means I'll be really upset, but I'll stay. And that's acceptance. What matters is what you're left with.