I would be interested in looking at why you judge yourself for wanting to just, I'm not saying that you are. My dad years ago, when he was, he's, he's like me. He's just constantly working on himself and tries everything,. But he was doing this thing was suggested by a therapist where he would watch really sad, but we just cry just to be able to access his emotions. And then there was one period of watching funny stuff just to laugh. That's, I didn't take the sad route because I'm like, I'm fucking sad enough. Like it's my nature. It's all like education for me. You know, people would laugh that

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