Honoring pain without rewriting life

Episode 262 – How to Stop Blowing Things Out of Proportion

In this episode, we’re talking about something all of us struggle with: keeping perspective. Our minds are wired to detect danger, but that often means we blow small things way out of proportion while simultaneously ignoring real issues that truly deserve our attention. The episode explores how our brains misclassify urgency and importance, and how that can quietly sabotage our peace, health, and even our relationships.
From missed emails to health warnings, from unreturned texts to loud notifications, the brain often spirals into stress mode. But not everything is a crisis—and learning how to properly categorize problems can help us avoid unnecessary suffering and focus on what actually matters. This is a learned skill, not a personality trait, and it’s one we can all improve with intentional thought and calm practice.

The Mind’s Misclassification System
Our brains aren’t wired for truth—they’re wired for survival. That means we often inflate small inconveniences into full-blown emergencies and ignore critical but quiet signals. Whether it’s eye health affected by early diabetes or financial dangers masked by everyday distractions, we learn how to distinguish real threats from perceived ones.
The Urgent vs Important Grid
Drawing from frameworks like the Franklin-Covey model, the episode shows how urgency often drowns out importance. Trash day might be urgent, but your health may be quietly deteriorating in the background. Learning to prioritize whispering “important” tasks over shouting “urgent” ones can dramatically shift your stress levels.
Learning the Art of Proper Scaling
By asking practical questions like “Will this matter in a year?” or “Is this truly irreversible?”, we begin to deflate the balloon of anxiety. Most so-called catastrophes are just discomforts in disguise. The power of reframing through small questions and honest labeling is highlighted as a method to regain peace and focus.
Physical and Emotional Reset Techniques
Crisis often feels like chaos, but many stress reactions can be calmed with simple physical resets—taking a walk, unclenching your jaw, or breathing deeply. Physical grounding helps mental recalibration and reduces exaggerated thinking.
Using Repairability and Delayed Judgment
One powerful trick: delay the conclusion. Just because something feels overwhelming now doesn’t mean it’s permanent. Asking “Is this repairable?” and “What’s the next best step?” helps avoid spiraling and puts situations back into manageable scope.

🧠 Takeaways
Perspective is not a natural state—it’s a practice. Every moment we react with panic, we miss the opportunity to respond with clarity. Most things that feel like disasters are just stress in disguise. Not every email needs your soul, not every mistake defines your worth, and not every bad day equals a bad life. The key is learning how to scale things back to their true size and practicing this regularly—especially in moments of calm.
By shifting from catastrophizing to curious questioning, we become more grounded, more compassionate with ourselves, and more focused on the things that truly matter. Practicing perspective means reclaiming our peace, our energy, and our lives from the chaos of constant urgency.
This episode is a guide, a conversation, and a reminder that you can return to balance—one small, thoughtful step at a time.

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Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.