Learning to Feel Somatic Yes and No

Fawn is a nervous system survival strategy, not a personality flaw. It helps you keep connection and avoid threat by overriding your needs, smiling through discomfort, and saying yes when you want to say no. In this episode of Trauma Rewired, Elisabeth Kristof and Jennifer Wallace unpack how fawn forms around attachment and safety, why it shows up in daily life and in sex, and how to gently rebuild self trust.

You will learn to notice gut and throat signals that precede a reflexive yes, set small boundaries without collapse, and grow capacity to feel both the difficult and the good, so connection can be real, not a performance.

Topics Discussed in This Episode:

• Rebuilding trust with the body – learning to honor yes/no signals, expanding capacity for both positive and negative feelings.

• Definition of the fawn trauma response – people pleasing, keeping peace, self-abandonment to preserve attachment.

• Nervous system mechanisms – how fawn is not just psychological but a survival adaptation deeply wired into the body.

• Everyday patterns of fawning – saying yes when you want to say no, constant smiling, hugging, avoiding conflict, relational perfectionism.

• Impact on relationships – depletion, shame, freeze states, loss of authenticity, confusing real connection with trauma responses.

• Attachment vs authenticity (Gabor Maté concept) – how children often sacrifice authenticity to maintain attachment.

• Personal trauma story (kidnapping experience) – how fawn played a role in survival and how fight/flight responses eventually emerged.

• Sexual fawning – difficulties with consent, disconnect between cognitive yes and bodily no, patterns of unsafe or unwanted intimacy.

• Healing practices – developing awareness of body signals, small boundary setting, self-compassion, nervous system regulation, emotional release practices.

• Outcome of healing – creating genuine connection with self, others, and the environment rather than survival-based attachment.

🔗 Resources: 🎯 Start Here

Ready to break free from burnout and self-sabotage? Join The Capacity Gap Workshop, register FREE at https://rewirecapacity.com

FREE 2-week nervous system training: https://www.rewiretrial.com

Learn more about Neurosomatic Intelligence Coaching: https://www.neurosomaticintelligence.com

📺 Watch More Trauma Rewired Episodes

YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@TraumaRewired

🤝 Connect with Us

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/trauma.rewired

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/761101225132846

🌱 Exclusive Offer

FREE 1 Year Supply of Vitamin D + 5 Travel Packs from Athletic Greens: https://www.drinkag1.com/rewired

This episode was produced by ClipGrowth – Podcast Video Editing, SEO & YouTube Strategy https://ClipGrowth.com

Trauma Rewired podcast is intended to educate and inform but does not constitute medical, psychological or other professional advice or services. Always consult a qualified medical professional about your specific circumstances before making any decisions based on what you hear. We share our experiences, explore trauma, physical reactions, mental health and disease. If you become distressed by our content, please stop listening and seek professional support when needed. Do not continue to listen if the conversations are having a negative impact on your health and well-being. If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, or in mental health crisis and you are in the United States you can 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. If someone’s life is in danger, immediately call 911.

We do our best to stay current in research, but older episodes are always available. We don’t warrant or guarantee that this podcast contains complete, accurate or up-to-date information. It’s very important to talk to a medical professional about your individual needs, as we aren’t responsible for any actions you take based on the information you hear in this podcast.

We invite guests onto the podcast. Please note that we don’t verify the accuracy of their statements. Our organization does not endorse third-party content and the views of our guests do not necessarily represent the views of our organization. We talk about general neuro-science and nervous system health, but you are unique. These are conversations for a wide audience. They are general recommendations and you are always advised to seek personal care for your unique outputs, trauma and needs.

We are not doctors or licensed medical professionals. We are certified neuro-somatic practitioners and nervous system health/embodiment coaches. We are not your doctor or medical professional and do not know you and your unique nervous system. This podcast is not a replacement for working with a professional. The BrainBased.com site and Rewiretrail.com is a membership site for general nervous system health, somatic processing and stress processing. It is not a substitute for medical care or the appropriate solution for anyone in mental health crisis.

Any examples mentioned in this podcast are for illustration purposes only. If they are based on real events, names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved.

We’ve done our best to ensure our podcast respects the intellectual property rights of others, however if you have an issue with our content, please let us know by emailing us at traumarewired@gmail.com

All rights in our content are reserved

This episode was produced by ClipGrowth - Podcast Video Editing, SEO & YouTube Strategy

https://ClipGrowth.com