2min chapter

Complex Trauma Recovery cover image

Healing from Emotionally Immature Parents through Reparenting with Guest Therapist Jessica Frick

Complex Trauma Recovery

CHAPTER

The Process of Discovering and Understanding Your Parents Emotional Immaturity

Many clients come to me saying, I know exactly what's going on. Like, we don't need any education here. I just need to handle myself. But then you go on the other end of the spectrum where their parent maybe has never been physically abusive but may have gaslighting them a little bit. So oftentimes we come to that in therapy together and it literally smacks them in the face like a V8.

00:00
Speaker 2
And what is the process like for people like discovering and understanding their parents emotional immaturity and how it affected them? Like is I'm, you know, I know it varies a lot, but what are some of the things that you see with that like discovery and understanding process?
Speaker 1
See, I think it's really interesting because it again, often comes back to that that spectrum is a lot of people with parents who are on the higher end of the spectrum in any of the four types, depending on their exposure to other people, if say they had one emotionally immature parent and one emotionally mature parent, or say emotionally mature family members that didn't fall into the family system of like coddling the emotionally immature parent, then they might realize that a lot sooner. And I've had, you know, many clients who come to me saying, I know exactly what's going on. Like, we don't need any education here. I just need to handle myself.
Speaker 2
Yeah, yeah. But
Speaker 1
then you go on the other end of the spectrum and not always, but I tend to find that the people who have no idea what's going on and we kind of have to have come to Jesus talks to speak is on the lower end of the spectrum where their parent maybe has never been physically abusive, never been particularly verbally abusive, but maybe has been gaslighting them a little bit or just the kind of little, you know, death by 1000 cuts type of comments that just sneak themselves into people's psyches and they don't realize where all of that's coming from. They just think that's how you're supposed to think about yourself. Right. Right. So oftentimes we come to that in therapy together, you know, where we have had a few sessions, we worked on some of the immediate stuff and then we start to talk about where this comes from and it literally smacks them in the face like a V8. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2
Yeah.

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